Hop on over!

I moved blogs awhile ago....and I am sure I lost some of my readers (all 5 of you...you know who you are). Anywho--come check out what has been happening in our world and meet our new addition to the family! See you over there!
http://merlelivinglife.blogspot.com

Moving

I am moving my blog to a new address. If you are interested on catching up with me/us/the journey, email me at merle1025@gmail.com and I will let you know my new blog address.

Thanks

WCHAFB Trip

You are probably wondering if we just joined a club or are going on some sort of trip to a conference with that crazy acronym....

As you know we are counting the days till we hit the sun and sand of Oahu and it couldn't come soon enough. A while back I posted a bucket list and on that bucket list was--go to Hawaii, Whale Watching and Snorkeling. I am going to be able to check off all three items! Cullen is going to go swimming with the sharks (an item on his bucket list--and I don't think I have ever seen him so happy).

I am actually going to be in Hawaii on my birthday--which is delightful because I think having a February birthday stinks! It is cold, people are tired of the winter and there isn't much to look forward to---and with all this snow--seeing dry green grass doesn't even seem possible.

We are going to read, relax and try to reconnect. Fertility issues can literally strangle/suffocate a marriage and it will be so nice to get away and reset our buttons!

So we are going on the WCHAFB trip--the We Can't Have a "Fing" Baby Trip
So we are escaping to Hawaii in the dead of winter and we can't wait!

A day I never thought we would have to go through....

So, we have to update our paperwork for the adoption. What does that mean??? It means that we have been waiting almost a year for a placement. How do I feel? I don't know. How does Cullen feel? I don't know.

Just never thought it would come to this.....I suppose it is all part of the journey.

So much has happened in that time frame. Babies born, pregnancies announced, job changes, religious transformations...but still no baby to add to our family.

Let's pray that God provides some guidance and continued peace during the year.

"The process of adopting a child pushes your personal envelope as a woman, as a mother, and ultimately, as a human being. It takes more courage than you think you have, offers more self-knowledge than you think you want, and reassembles your characteristics into someone familiar but changed."

Jana Wolff, Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother

Another Day....Another Winter Storm

There isn't really much to say--other than--I HATE SNOW!!

Yesterday I had a funny encounter with a pregnant gal at work. The childcare side has a few pregnant folks (should I start drinking their water?) and yesterday I went to the restroom at the same time as one of them. No big deal right--right! Later that afternoon I went to the restroom and she was in there too. I thought to myself--now, how can I be on the same peeing schedule as a pregnant woman! I kind of laughed to myself and went to the restroom.

While washing my hands she comes out and she laughs and says we must be on the same schedule. I think--yep, you peeing because you are pregnant and I am peeing because I had too much coffee or water but yep the same schedule. I smile and say "yep". Then she says--I have this silly bloody nose and I said oh this crappy dry weather, it is sure getting old! She said, actually I read in my "What to expect" book that this is the week I could get bloody noses. Not knowing what to say---I said "oh dear"! (my favorite line to use). As I walked out the restroom door I laughed to myself and thought--you can't make this stuff up! I get myself in some interesting situations!

Happy New Year

New Year = New Hope

2009 was an interesting year for us. It brought about a lot of changes in our lives. A job change, journey to a new religion for Cullen and a renewed faith for me and getting approved for adoption--just to name a few. We made it through another year and it was a good but challenging year.

We are blessed with amazing families, wonderful friends and a faith that continues to provide us peace and grace as we walk on our path together and individually.

I am entering 2010 with a sense of hope! Hope that we continue to walk on the path that is provided, that we continue to see signs in the right direction regarding building our family and that we continue to grow together as a couple.

I hope you can find the positive things in your life...even if you have to dig down deep beneath the snow (all 15+inches) to find it! Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

Well another Christmas down in the books! It's not a Christmas I care to relive either--sadly enough. We missed Midnight Mass because of the snow and I think that had a huge effect on me/us! We missed the opportunity to reflect on the year and celebrate the reason for the season.

I have been reading other blogs for months and have seen people post about how hard the holidays are and I just never felt that way--until Christmas morning. It hit me like a ton of bricks--while everyone was opening gifts. It was a combination of things that morning but it just broke my heart that we are not any further along then we were at this time last year. Christmas day was one year ago to the day that we found out our IVF didn't work. After 4 long years of infertility, we are in the adoption pool and waiting as patiently as we can and I have a sister (who is also my best friend) who is becoming a mom in a few short months. All that with the 10+ inches of snow was "The Perfect Storm" for my emotions.

We decided it was best to be at home because the roads were terrible and I was not a fun person to be around that day--so we spent the day napping and watching t.v. and had cereal for dinner!

After much discussion we decided that we hope we don't have another Christmas like that--feelings of sadness instead of rejoicing. So we decided we will travel to someplace warm next year over Christmas if we haven't been placed with a baby :)

Then a sign from God came last night. I feel asleep last night early (like 9 p.m.) while I was watching the early news. I woke up at 10:10 and was awake enough to change to the other news channel just in time for the beginning of a news story. The story was about a couple that had a "Christmas Miracle". They got a phone call last week--they had been picked for adoption. They brought home their son this weekend. This couple went through our agency and we have seen them speak!
Coincidence??? NOPE--Thank you God for a sign. A sign of hope. I needed it. I was feeling hopeless this holiday!